BEST BOOKS I READ THIS YEAR
(doesn’t necessarily mean they came out in 2008)

4. The Vengeful Virgin by Gil Brewer

3. In The Money: Strategies for Winning Texas Hold’em Cash Games by Antonio “The Magician” Esfandiari

2. The 9/11 Report: A Graphic Adaptation by Sid Jacobson and Ernie Colon

     After reading this I wish I could tell you that the worst is behind us, but I’m not so sure, especially with an inexperienced jackass moving into The White House.

BOOK OF THE YEAR
Harrington on Hold’em Volume 1: Strategic Play by Dan Harrington

     One of the best poker books ever written.

FAVORITE ALBUMS OF 2008

Honorable Mention:
“Vampire Weekend”
Vampire Weekend

ALBUM OF THE YEAR
“Real Emotional Trash”
Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks

     OK, I need to start listening to more new music, but Malkmus and friends released a masterpiece this year.

FAVORITE VIDEO GAMES OF 2008

3. Ninja Gaiden II

     And “yes”, I did finish this game despite its insane and at times brutal difficulty level.

2. Castle Crashers

GAME OF THE YEAR
Grand Theft Auto IV

     This game lived up to all the hype for me and is one the reasons why video games now share the same artistic platform as music and movies.

(Editor’s Note: I’m disappointed I didn’t get to: “Gears of War 2″ or “Left 4 Dead”.)

BEST MOVIES OF 2008

6. Iron Man

5. Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

     My biggest surprise of 2008! The true sequel to the original. 

4. Step Brothers

FILM OF THE YEAR
Cloverfield

     I went back and forth between “Clovie” and “TDK” when determining this, but as cool as “The Dark Knight” was, the theater going experience that was “Cloverfield” made it #1 for me. Throw in some clever internet marketing and an active forum and message board community and you have the most revolutionary and entertaining film of 2008.

(Editor’s Note: I’m disappointed I didn’t get to “Pineapple Express”, “The Wrestler”, “Slumdog Millionaire” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.)

     So I was back in Los Angeles last week and despite the bad structure the poker rooms have for their cash games, there’s just too many card rooms around for me not to check them out. I was on a shorter trip than last time so I only had two nights to check out some places I hadn’t played at before. The first place I played at was The Hawaiian Gardens Casino, and my first impression was this place is going to be a shithole because as I was walking towards the poker room I was exposed to at least 3 poker zombies mumbling about their bad luck and bad beats. Great. So I was thinking this was going to be a loser place for losers, but actually the poker room was really well run. Even better the $3/5 No Limit Hold’em game had a max buy-in of $300, now it’s not as good as the normal $500 buy-in I’m use to but its better than the $200 max buy-in that most card rooms in LA go by.

     So maybe the poker room was filled with poker zombies and a good number of house players, but there were some decent players as well as some pretty terrible players. Actually, the mood of the Hawaiian Gardens poker room can best be described as a sports/island bar that just happens to be surrounded by poker tables, so it’s actually kind of a fun place to play if you can put up with the occassional filth that you’ll run into. I played $3/5 No Limit Hold’em for a few hours and finished up $196, which wasn’t that bad considering I lost $100 on my very first hand.

                                                                                                               Normandie Casino - Gardena, CA

     So while I had some time to kill before catching my red-eye flight home I stopped by The Normandie Casino. Now it was around 5:30pm and I was shocked to learn that there were no “no-limit hold’em” games running. What??? Had I just entered a time warp to 1997 or something? Everyone was either playing low stakes limit hold’em or stud. I did find a Omaha Hi-Lo game going with limits at $3 - $6 so I took a seat at that. I really enjoy playing Omaha Hi-Lo and its too bad I don’t get to play it as much as I’d like because usually the games that do run at  The Borgata are too high for my bankroll. Now what’s great about Omaha Hi-Lo is that compared to how many people that play Hold’em and don’t have a clue as to what they are doing, there are even more, and I mean way more players that play Omaha Hi-Lo and don’t have even the slightest clue as to how to play.

     I played the game for a few hours and finished up $47. It seemed like a lot of work for just $47, then I noticed that the rake was $5 every hand regardless of the size of the pot. To me this is kind of crazy but the rake at The Normandie Casino is based on how many players are in the hand and not the size of the pot. For example, 9-7 players = $5, 6 - 5 players = $4, 4 players and below = $3. Now this really stupid because let’s say you have only a $10 pot, the house takes half you money. Now this doesn’t seem like a big deal but over time it can really add up and it makes it equally hard to accumlate chips in a limit game. Also the game was filled with house players and with more players with bad teeth then I’ve ever seen. Not to mention I got to talk to people who still have rabbitt ears on their TVs and are sweating the digital TV cable switchover in February ‘09. Yes, people like this still exisit and most of them live in trailer parks in California. But overall I had a decent time while playing in LA again, and although I still don’t think LA Poker is anywhere as good as the poker I get to play every weekend at The Borgata, I think I’ve grown to understand it and tolerate it more for what it is.

But just one last question……WHAT’S WITH ALL THE FUCKING EATING AT THE TABLES!!!! IT’S GROSS, SLOWS DOWN PLAY AND IT’S ANNOYING!!! TAKE 15 - 30 MINUTES AWAY FROM THE TABLE AND STUFF YOUR DONKEY FACE AND RETURN!!!

     One of the rarest comics in my collection is “Iron Man #5″ so needless to say I’ve been a fan of Iron Man pretty much my whole life. And after the taste that “Spider-Man 3″ and “X-Men 3″ had left in my mouth I was a little nervous about how Tony Stark was going to come off on the silver screen. Thankfully, while I don’t think the movie is as amazing as all the fanboys will tell you, I did find “Iron Man” to be really well made and very entertaining.

     “Iron Man” is a very uber-dorky, nerdy, and techy movie but that’s actually what I was expecting and hoping for. Because as much as Tony Stark tries to come off as this “too cool for the room” playboy he really is nothing more than that geek who knows how to turn your toaster into a death ray. However, the whole big badass weapon maker who learns how to love came off kind of sappy. Plus, is it the goal of Marvel movie producers to pick the most annoying actress possible to be the female lead in their movies? Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts would have been better if her character was a mute, ex. “What is that some kind of thing to pick door locks?” The device blows up the lock. “Oh wow!”

     Overall, “Iron Man” is a step in the right direction in a post “Spider-Man 3″ and “X-Men 3″ cinema world. It’s sound and VFX are top notch. Robert Downey Jr. nails his role as Tony Stark and director John Favreau did an excellent job of updating Iron Man’s story to the modern era, a task that’s a lot trickery than most movie goers think. And the future looks bright for this franchise as hints of War Machine and The Avengers have already been put in place.

     “Yeah, peace. Without war you’d be out of a job.” - Tony Stark

     Now most viewers will tell you that HBO’s “The Wire” is a pretty cool show about the war on drugs, when if fact that is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what I now consider the greatest TV show ever produced. The truth is that eventhough some of the characters sell illegal drugs, that is only an aspect of the urban landscape that the series wants to present to the viewer. “The Wire” uses its 5 seasons to explore how the failure, amorality, and corruption within institutions eventually destory the essentially decent individuals involved with them, whether its the neighborhood, local government, work place, schools, family and friends..etc.

     “The Wire” shows how minor and insignificant the individual’s role in soceity is and how if someone has the balls to try and step outside of the chain of command, or rock the boat, or try to affect any kind of change it most often leaves them vulnerable and sometimes dead. So how do the characters of the show deal with this? Well look at the symbolism of the drunken sessions between McNulty and Bunk at the railroad yard. Here are two guys who can’t get their lives on track, who can’t find any direction in life without the daily routine of a job that they both excell at but at the same time is leaving them ruined and empty. You might even say that they’re just pawns in a game of chess, which leads us to season 1.

Season 1: The Drug Trade

     A favorite scene of mine from season 1 is when D’Angelo explains the rules of chess to Wallace and Bodie. D’Angelo even goes on to say that more or less that if you know how the game works you can take advantage of it and even conquer it. But what’s ironic about this scene is that the 3 players involved haven’t realized yet that the game they are a part of in real life is rigged. For no matter what strategy D’Aneglo, Wallace or Bodie use on the corner there is no Queen or piece strong enough to save them.

     People wonder why “The Wire” was snubbed at The Emmys, but its a no brainer because most people in America find this kind of fatalism very discomfiting. Our society is filled with self-centered and self-worshipping individuals who feel their income and items of leisure define who they are, and most of they are afraid to admit that their lives are usually over before they truly begin.

     “The Wire” should scare the shit out of every viewer. Here is a show where the institutions of mankind repeatedly destory the individual and where morality and justice just don’t seem to matter.

Season 2: The Docks

     To me season 2 is really where “The Wire” separates itself from all other so-called “cop shows”. It would have made perfect television sense for season 2 to pick up right where it left off with Avon Barksdale and Stringer Bell and the drug trade of Baltimore. But instead the series immersed us into a new, confusing and dangerous world that viewers had never seen before. It makes sense though, because with any decent sized city it would be naive to think that all the crime and problems only happen in one area. Season 2 is about the death of the working class and it pretty much spells out that economics and hard times don’t care about the race of those involved. 

     Chris Bauer turns in the series most powerful performance as Frank Sobotka, the treasurer for the International Brotherhood of Stevedores at the Baltimore docks. This character defines the term “Greek Tragedy” and the scene with him and his son Ziggy in jail right before Ziggy is about to begin a murder sentence is without a doubt the most powerful scene I’ve ever seen on television or maybe any other form of media.

Season 3: Politics and Reform

     Season 3 is mostly remember for Howard “Bunny” Colvin’s apeshit attempt to legalize or should we say ignore the drug problem in certain areas of Baltimore, but to me the most important moment of season 3 is the introduction of Marlo Stanfield. Because with Marlo now in the mix the friendship and partnership between Avon and Stringer is really put to the test. And what’s great about Marlo is how Jamie Hector portrays him. It would have been easy for Hector to make Marlo this over-the-top ruthless sociopath, just think Pacino in “Scarface”, but its Hector’s icy stare and his stoic unquestionable power that is present in every scene that he’s in that really solidifies the role of Marlo as a legitimate young kingpin.  

     The problem with Stringer Bell is that he tried to change the game. Stringer saw the drug trade as a means to an end, while Avon saw it as the only means necessary. So while the end of Stringer Bell’s storyline was definitely a shocker, it only proved how “The Wire” doesn’t put anything or anyone above its narrative and that in this world that is constantly calling for change, the few individuals that actually attempt such things are always out-gunned and out-manned.

Season 4: Family and Education

     The film “City of God” might be the best dipiction of what its like for kids to grow up in less than ideal environments. Season 4 of “The Wire” is very close behind. You might wonder where people like Omar Little, Bubbles or Marlo Stanfield come from and the answer is just take a look at the family and friends they grew up with. Throw in a school system that has its head up its ass when it comes to dealing with kids from broken homes and you end up with generation after generation of criminals ready to hit the streets every 4 years.

     Mayor to be Tommy Carcetti wants better schools in Baltimore but in place is a system that the students manipulate to their own needs as they learn how to con and survive in their ultra-violent surroundings. But all hope isn’t lost as we see how Bunny Colvin takes it upon himself to save the life of one of the show’s troubled youths in Namond Brice. It fact the very last shot of season 4 sums up the series as a whole.

Season 5: The Media and Closure

     The problem with lying is that the more you do it the better you get at it. And the better you get at it the bigger the lies you’ll tell. So the question for season 5 was: How far can you go with a lie? I actually found season 5 kind of ridiculous and would have been satisfied had the series ended with season 4, but it was nice to see closure on the characers. What we see with McNulty is that he’s not a hero, but a guy you thought could have done better with the talent he had. We learn that he’s ultimately better off without a job that was killing him. Marlo obtains the lifestyle that Stringer Bell wanted and takes it for granted. Hell for Marlo Stanfield is a business meeting with a bunch of developers, for Stringer that was all he ever wanted. In the end “The Wire” reinforces that life is very cyclical; McNulty leaves Sydnor replaces him, Dukie replaces Bubbles, Michael becomes Omar. Life is really unfair. What kind of a world is it where Senator Clay Davis gets away with everything? Sheeeeeeeeittttt!!!   

     In the end what “The Wire” points out and what the rest of dramatic television relentlessly gets wrong is that life is truly tragic. Family and friends die. Your personal goals will never be reached. Basically, life is a shit sandwich. And eventhough its futile to rebel, its really the only alternative you have if you want to salvage anything that remotely resembles human dignity. 

Fuck you William Penn!! Fuck you Mets fans!!! Fuck you all you haters that love to trash Philadelphia sports fans!!!

The 2008 Philadelphia Phillies are World Series Champions!!!!!!!!!!!

The Commerce Casino - Commerce, CA

     The Commerce Casino is perhaps the most famous card room in LA. It might even be the biggest card room in the whole world (Foxwoods?). But let me tell you as a player that prefers the likes of The Borgata and The Bellagio, The Commerce Casino is a dump! You’ll find dirty people loitering around the casino and sometimes even dirtier people sitting at your table. And everyone is eating all the time! My #1 poker pet peeve is eating at the table and it seems that in CA when most people decide to go out to eat they somehow found their way to a poker table. I swear of the nine people at the table at least 5 of them were eating or ordering something during the whole session.
     Next, let’s talk about how fucked up LA’s buy-in structure is for No-Limit Hold’em. Listen to this, the max buy-in for a 3-5 NL Hold’em game is $200! WTF? I thought the logic for NL Hold’em was to have a max buy-in of at least 100x the big blind. At a buy-in of only $200 and where the average pre-flop raise is around $20 - $30 it doesn’t take long for you to get your stack committed in situations you wouldn’t normally desire. Basically the game can turn into a coin-flip shove fest. So my biggest problem with LA poker is that there doesn’t seem to be much “play”.
     During my time at the Commerce I was surrounded by loose bad players that unfortunately I wasn’t able to exploit. But it was fun to watch this guy sitting next to me with about $800 in chips get felted after he got drunk and started playing every hand and trying to bluff everyone every hand. In a string of five hands this guy went from $800 to nothing. It was one of the worst displays of poker I had ever seen. But the one good thing I can say about the Commerce Casino is that the parking lot isn’t as bad/dangerous as everyone says it is and the parking is free as well.

The Bicycle Casino - Bell Gardens, CA

     The Bicycle Casino or commonly refer to as “The Bike” is cleaner and nicer than the Commerce Casino but the quality of players is still pretty bad, also everyone loves to eat at the table, as a matter of fact if you play 3-5 No-Limit Hold’em or higher you can get all the free food you want from the casino. That’s a first. But what would seem like a nice perk for the players actually was kind of annoying to me as I watched players display their gluttony as it seemed like everyone was ordering 5 course meals plus desert. The poker table turns into this centerpiece surrounded by side tables filled with food. And as if live poker wasn’t slow enough, all the eating going on only slows the game down even more.
     So there I was playing 3-5 NL Hold’em with their bullshit $200 max buy-in which led to me playing pretty tight and waiting to take advantage of the loose and wild players around me splashing every pot. Because of this structure I believe you just have to be patient and wait for a situation where you can get involved with the best of it, and boy did I find such a situation. Long story short I held Qs Js with a board of 9s 10s 8c which resulted in me stacking my opponent. So yeah you can say I had fun at The Bicycle Casino.

Hustler Casino - Gardena, CA

     I’ve heard a lot of stories about The Hustler Casino. How Larry Flynnt flies in the world’s best poker players to take on, so I was excited to check out this place out. And with the name Hustler involved I was expecting to see hot sluts walking around everywhere. Well, that’s not exactly what you’re going to see. I really didn’t see any hot chicks anywhere inside, even the waitresses were kind of beat and rundown. But the card room was comfortable and well laid out, and from what I was told the table where Larry and players like Phil Ivey and John Hennigan play ultra high stakes games is right there amongst all the normal tables. Well I didn’t see Larry or Phil playing anywhere but my 3-5 No Limit Hold’em game was actually the most solid game I had experience since playing in LA. Most players knew how to control their bets in accordance to their stacks and there really weren’t any shove fests to speak of. This might be a result of the high number of house players I spotted in the card room. Actually the number of house players I saw in LA poker rooms was abnormally high in comparison to other card rooms I’ve been in around the country. But hey I don’t mind house players, they keep the game going and most of them don’t get out of line too often with their betting. 

Hollywood Park Casino - Inglewood, CA

     My final session of LA poker came while I was waiting for my red-eye flight back to Philly. The Hollywood Park Casino is only a stone’s throw away from LAX and is a pretty cool place to play. I loved the fact that there are arcade games everywhere surrounding the poker room. And we’re talking cool arcade games like Donkey Kong, Operation Wolf and an Elvis pinball machine as just a few examples. But like everywhere else in LA there was the $200 max buy-in for the 3-5 No Limit Hold’em game which I again will tell you how much I detest. And once again I was at a table where players were just making huge over-sized bets pre-flop and just shoving on the flop. Is this poker? Maybe its just a result of all the action junkies in the room who are also betting the horses while sitting at the table. 
     Now don’t think I’m being a whining little bitch, because I know how to adapt to this structure and this kind of play, but the thing is, is that on this day some bad luck and some cold cards resulted in a pretty decent dent in my bankroll. I’m not going to tell you how much I lost but just let me point out these few hands: my set of 4’s stacked by a set of Kings, a guy all-in rivering a flush to beat my straight, I was short-stacked with pocket 8’s and of course my opponent with AK nailed his Ace on the flop…OK, maybe I am starting to sound like a bitch because no one likes to hear bad beat stories, but it just seemed like that during my time playing poker in LA I didn’t exactly feel like I was “playing poker”. I almost felt that due to the structure that comes with a low buy-in for a No-Limit Hold’em game that most of my actions were pretty much determined by the math involved and not by any kind of high level thinking. Man, I can’t wait to get back to The Borgata. 

     As golden as the arches of this fine establishment, the same can be said for the money making opportunity that awaits you. I’m of course talking about the annual artery clogging game called “McDonald’s Monopoly”. But before you abandon your healthy lifestyle of tofu and hummus for Big Macs and Large Fries I thought it would be nice to provide you with the list of “Rare Pieces” for the game:

     Now if you don’t know how the game works….well…you’re a moron. Don’t worry the Mickie D’s employee with Down Syndrome by the shake machine can explain it for you. Don’t get me wrong. I know this game is a sucker’s bet in its truest form. Hell, the game was halted back in 2001 after a company called Simon Marketing, which organized and promoted the game, had been removing all the “rare pieces” from play and distributing them to friends and family. The scam went on for several years and netted the conspirators over $24 million in prizes. The scheme was eventually uncovered when one of the participants informed the FBI. There’s always one, isn’t there?

     But its good to have you back “McDonald’s Monopoly”. I already have “New York Avenue” and “St. James Place”. Anyone out there have “Tennessee Avenue”? We’re talking $5000 the easy way here.  

     Not that there aren’t enough people talking about this film already but for what its worth here are my two cents about the biggest movie to hit the screens in a decade. First of all, I’m a big fan of the Tim Burton era of Batman. In fact I’m such a fan of Burton’s work that I didn’t even bother to see “Batman Begins” when the series restarted itself a few years ago and I really had no desire to even see “The Dark Knight” until I heard everyone going apeshit over it. So I then figured, well I have to check this out, but in order to do so I thought it would only be fair to start with where Batman go his new jump start.

“Batman Begins” (2005)

     “Batman Begins” was a great film and I thought it really shined in separating itself from the previous Batman films. Nolan presented a fresh new viewpoint of a story that had already been told. However, I found the film dragging in some places, especially in the beginning. I thought they could have gotten to Batman making his Batcave and going to fight the bad guys a little faster. Also, the casting was kind of weird. You got an English actor trying to come off as an Italian Mafia Boss? And for some reason Liam Neilson has never been intimidating to me. Don’t even ask me about Katie Holmes’ character. I did like how the ending set-up the next film, but to steal a line from The Joker I’d like to ask Christopher Nolan “Why so serious?”

“Why so serious?”

     Ok Batman fanboys get ready to flame!!!

     To me there’s enough cynicism in the world already that I don’t need it in my superhero movies. I like triumphant endings where we know good has conquered evil. Once again “Why so serious???!!!” You guys do realize that when all is done and said this movie is still about a guy who dresses up as a fucking bat and fights crime. So “Why so serious?” I understand how this extreme grittiness and edge would appeal to certain guys at certain ages, but I want my superheroes to just be superheroes and not case studies in manic depressive indentity disorders.
 
      Next, let’s take a look at the cast of “TDK”. How many people did Maggie Gyllenhaal’s agent have to blow to get her this role? I mean c’mon I’ve seen hotter girls working at the DMV. Also, as great as Heath Ledger’s performance as The Joker is, to me that role isn’t that hard. Put some crazy makeup on and act like a complete psychopath is actually kind of one dimensional role, but hey it’s a shame he croaked before the film came out, so let’s all praise him. And just exactly how was The Joker able to get all these thugs that gave me “Manhunt” flashbacks and set-up all these elaborate schemes at a moment’s notice? It’s funny how fanboys claim how realistic this film is when actually its very far from it.

     What “The Dark Knight” did accomplish better than any other comic book film ever was that its plot actually had a legitimate reason for having more than one villain in it. This was pulled off way better than any other film ever (yes I’m pointing at you “Spider-Man 3″). Overall, Nolan made another very original and exciting story about Batman but for all these fans standing in line to see the film for the 7th time with a raging hard-on, I think you need to relax. 

     I got to Jilly’s Arcade in Ocean City, NJ around 1:30am and was ready to take down the “Spider-Man” pinball machine but to my surprise there was some hot chick playing it while her boyfriend was playing air hockey with his friends. C’mon what are the odds? The whole reason I come to the arcade late at night is because I know that most of the machines will be open, and they were, all excpet for “Spider-Man”. So instead I cashed in for a pocket full of quarters and headed over to the “Medieval Madness” machine.

     “Medieval Madness” by Williams is an awesome pinball machine. It’s humorous, has a great layout and very fun and exciting to play. There are multiple ways to rack up a high score from destorying the castle, killing the Dragon, launching catapults, winning jousts…it goes on and on. I had played this game a few times before tonight so I already knew the real key to getting a high score was destroying the castle, which I did a few times and before I knew it I had a ”REPLAY” by getting a score of over 25,000,000. I went to see if the hot chick was still playing “Spider-Man”, she wasn’t, but instead there was some young kid with a huge afro playing it now. WTF? So I looked for another game to play.

     “The Sopranos” pinball machine is a pretty tough machine. The ramps and power-ups are pretty hard to hit and the main level up element is a safe right in the middle of the board that is kind of dangerous and causes a lot of your balls to fall down the middle. But the game is definitely entertaining and does incorporate a lot of the characteristics of the TV show. With a few tries and the help of an extra ball I was able to get a “REPLAY” by getting a score of over 15,000,000 which is actually kind of low for a replay score, but then again this game is really challenging.  I then played a game of the “RollerCoaster Tycoon” pinball machine but the top right flipper on the machine didn’t work so after 3 balls I was done with this game. Jilly’s is pretty good with maintaining their machines, but I’d avoid the “RollerCoaster Tycoon” and “The Adams Family” pinball machines because they have flipper problems. I then noticed that of the 10 pinball machines on this side of the arcade that I had obtained a “REPLAY” on all of them before except for the machine at the very end. So I forgot about playing “Spider-Man” and headed over to the “Harley-Davidson” pinball machine.

     If you want to play a fun and easy pinball machine than “Harley-Davidson” pinball is the game for you. The “REPLAY” score on this machine was 70,000,000 which seems a lot until you start playing and notice that you can score 30,000,000 bascially without doing anything special. Whereas the game isn’t very challenging it does excel at being a lot of fun. The machine shakes and sounds like a real motorcycle. Obtaining multiballs is easy and hitting the jackpots is even easier. So needless to say I got a score of over 100,000,000 with no problem and had my third “REPLAY” of the night. It was around 3am and the “Spider-Man” pinball machine was open but I thought “maybe next time webhead” and headed home.