JJ BANKS’ Blog

     I’ve been living in New Jersey for quite awhile now, hell, I even own some property in the Garden State. But what really bothers me is when someone from outside Jersey calls the state a dump. Now it’s true that NJ does have the most toxic waste dumps in the U.S.A with 108, but the funny thing is that for all the time that I’ve lived here I’ve never seen one. So I decided to head out and find one.

Landfill & Development Co. = Superfund Site = Toxic Dump

     I guess because of my influence from “The Toxic Avenger” movies I was expecting to see huge coolant towers or rusty barrels with green slime oozing out of them. But when I did find my first toxic waste dump it was unlike anything I was expecting.

Located right across the street from Wal-Mart

     I live in Mount Laurel, NJ which is in Burlington County and which I recently learned has the most superfund sites (which is technical talk for a toxic waste dump) than any other county in New Jersey. The closest one to where I live was located right off Route 38 in Mount Holly, NJ conveniently placed right across the street from a Wal-Mart that thousands of people visit everyday. I’ve been to this Wal-Mart numerous times and never gave a second thought about the wide open field across the street. A field that is actually a 210 acre landfill housing loads and loads of hazardous contaminants. 

The Wal-Mart in Mount Holly, NJ right on Route 38

The view from the Wal-Mart parking lot.

     I’ll be honest. I have no idea what these contaminants are but I have a feeling you don’t exactly want them hanging around the house.

Contaminants Detected

1,1,1 - Trichloroethane
1,2 - Dichloroethane
Carbon Tetrachloride
Chloroform
Trichloroethylene

The gated entrance off of Route 38

     The last published report about the safety of this site was done in September of 1983. Nice, a good 26 years has past. In that last report it was documented that seeps from the landfill had polluted the Rancocas Creek and Smithville Canal which I see people canoing and sometimes swimming in, but I’m sure our fine government agencies have since cleaned up those spots, right?

The official “hidden” entrance that’s accessible after driving down some back roads.

      So I guess I feel a little bit more like an official New Jersey resident now that I’ve visited my first official toxic dump. It wasn’t as visually impressive as I was hoping for but in a way I guess that’s good thing, because we never seem to worry about things that we don’t see. However, now I think twice when I’m out driving and I see a nice large open field that’s surrounded by a barbed-wire fence. I can’t help but think about what nasty materials must be stored inside. 

Click here to find the nearest toxic dump by you.

Click here for more random stories about New Jersey at WellHungOver.net

     I took a break from poker on Wednesday. I especially didn’t feel great about how I went on “tilt” at The Luxor the other night and donked off $150. So Wednesday was basically just a day for drinking, hanging out around Vegas and acting like someone on vacation. Ironically, I did play some $2/5 NL Hold’em at The Bellagio where the bad players are few and far between and I won like $10 after a few hours, but since I didn’t approach the game like I normally do I’m not counting the win towards my losses so far.

     I got back to serious poker playing on Thursday when I sat down at a $1/2 NL Hold’em table at the MGM Grand. “And eventhough I never won with my AK the MGM Grand was the beginning of a good day!” I didn’t really get involved in any big hands, I just picked up a pot here and there and after three hours I was up $130. However, The MGM Grand has that gay “LA” rule of not being able to buy in for more than $200 at a $1/2 table, so there never was much money on the table for the taking. Realizing I would have to run extremely well to make a windfall at this table, I got up and left for brighter and greener opportunities.

     For some reason I kept finding myself at The Mandalay Bay poker room during my trip. Maybe it was because the poker room at the hotel I was staying at, The Luxor, was kind of chitty, but MB is where I went next. Now, I define myself as a tight player so you know its a pretty big deal when I say that the table I sat down at was one of the “tightest” tables I’ve ever played on. Phil Ivey once said that you should never go into a poker game with a strategy, instead you just need to react and adjust to the players you’re playing with. Normally, I’m the tight player in a game full of “loose splash the pot with chips” kind of players, so being a tight aggressive player is the way I apporach those situations. Here however I had to make a 180 to my normal playing style. Here I got to play like a Gus Hansen or a Tom Dwan and I was the “loose bet/raise every hand” player because I knew the players at the table we’re only going to continue or playback with basically nothing short of the nuts.

     But don’t get the idea that I’m exploiting the playing style that I normally institute. Like I said I’m a tight player, but I’m a tight “aggressive” player and there’s a difference between a tight “aggressive” player and a tight “passive” player which would take another blog in itself for me to explain. Just let me sum up that the tight passive approach is perhaps the worst way you can play No-Limit Texas Hold’em and after 5 hours of playing with these lambs I was up $371.

                                                                                                   The Venetian Poker Room - Las Vegas, NV

     Friday was my final full day so I spent it at my favorite poker room in Las Vegas; The Venetian. And although the layout of The Venetian poker room reminded me of my homebase at The Borgata the result of this session was back to the typical Vegas luck I had been having for the week: 8 hours of playing = -$178. 

     So after five full days in Las Vegas I only had one shining moment so I guess when you look at it like that it’s actually kind of amazing I only finished down -$702. I’ve been told that this series of blogs have sounded kind of depressing to the readers and while it is fun and exciting to be in Las Vegas…let’s face it things in life are always a lot more fun when you win! Everyone feels smarter and better when they win and self-dout and insecurity can creep in when you lose. But when you play poker, really play poker, the day-to-day ups and downs shouldn’t bother you. All you should be concerned with is if you’re playing the best you can which means are you constantly making the right decisions? I honestly feel I played good the whole trip except for that one late night donkey buy-in at The Luxor for $150. To me that was the only time I was playing on “tilt”.

     While I was playing at The Venetian some old local player said the following: “Can you imagine playing this everyday? I can’t. I hate this. I play 4 times a week and I don’t know why? My first thought was “well you’re just a degenerate gambler” but the more I thougt about it the more I realized that there are no short-cuts in life or in poker and you really need to learn to enjoy the journey. Maybe now wasn’t my time for WSOP glory. Is the kid that won event #34 and $500,000 a better poker player than me? I don’t know, I’ve never played against him but then again I shouldn’t be concerned either way about it, because in order for me to really start to enjoy the journey I can only focus on myself and my game. Will there ever be a World Series of Poker Final Table in my future? I don’t know. I’ll just have to keep playing and find out.  

                                                                                                                      The Final Table

AND JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE TRIP WAS OVER…..!!!!

                                                                                                               Wizard World 2009

     So what do you do when you come home hungover from your trip to Las Vegas? Most people might say spend the day in bed watching porn, but not me, instead I grabbed whatever leftover cash I had and headed over to the Philadelphia Convention Center for Wizard World 2009.

     Wizard World is an expo of everything involving comics, toys and TV/movies. And maybe I was somewhat desensitized from a week full of winning and losing hundred dollar pots at poker that I was indifferent while paying $10 - $25 for some old comics I wanted to add to my collection. This convention did rock though. Most of the vendors were nice and willing to make deals and the comic selection well exceeded my expectations. Just imagine if I had won Event #34….I definitely would have purchased a copy of Amazing Fantasy #15.

But back to reality, here is what I picked up at Wizard World 2009:

The Nam #1 - 11, #16

X-Factor #24

Marvel Comics Presents: Weapon X #76, #77, #81

The Incredible Hulk #340

Wolverine #2, #3, #7 - 10

Wolverine (Mini-Series) #1 - 4 

The Punisher War Journal #6

The Uncanny X-Men #103 - 106, #108, #129 - 132, #139, #183, #229, #232 - 233

     I’ve always considered myself a pretty optimistic person. I always try and see the best in people and whatever happens in life. With that said: “Las Vegas really doesn’t like me that much!”

     12:00pm - 4:00pm Wynn Casino

     I first walked into the Wynn Casino around 11:30am but it took me until about noon before I was seated at a poker table because I spent a half-hour wondering around one of the most fucking beautiful buildings I’ve ever been in. The Wynn without a doubt can give The Bellagio and The Venetian a run for its money with it comes to “who’s the highest of the high end in Vegas”. This was even more noticeable when I bought into a 1/3 No-Limit Hold’em game for $300 and was seated directly to the left of two stacks that both had about $2000 in front of them. Welcome to that lucky 5% you always hear about. So not only did these two players have huge stacks but they were willing to gamble, which meant that my humble pile of 300 in chips would be in danger with ever pot I entered. Now the smart decision would be to move to another table to find a softer game, but hey I’m in Vegas right?, and I left my Vagisil at home, so I decided to hang around. Patiently I waited to find the spot where I could get it all-in with the best of it against these big stack bullies but unfortunatley that moment never came and after 4 hours I was down -$155.

     5:00pm - 8:00pm Treasure Island Casino

     I continued to be patient and wait for good spots as I started playing at “TI” but my discipline didn’t pay off as The Poker Gods didn’t see me fit to get the best of a table full of drunks. My favorite hand of the session was when I called this dude’s “all-in” bet for $65 with KhQh and he turns over 9s3h…neither one of us improves until he nails a 3 on the river.

     Now I understand how you can’t just sit around all day and wait, you do have to get in there and mix it, and I did, but time after time again I would make a good hand while this jerk off shooting Patron would make a great hand. What’s crazy is that I deal with drunk players all the time in AC and usually I get the best of them but this hasn’t been the case so far in LV. I left the Treasure Island poker room down -$196.

     I’ll admit that I’m not big on “change”. I’m happy with the way things are for the most part. If something works then why try and reinvent the wheel? So when I walked into the Excalibur poker room I almost shitted my pants. WTF???? The Excalibur poker room is 100% computerized. No human dealers and no poker chips. The game is entirely played on this gay-ass looking table with video monitors in front of each player. I spent all of 30 seconds looking at this abortion to the game of poker and left before I smacked the poker room director in the face for being a douche.

     You see I love poker. I’ve been poker seriously since June of 2000. Back then I would play whenever I could. I remember my roomate and I playing heads-up against each other night after night and honestly in the beginning I lost…I lost a lot. But fast forward 9 years and not only do I have the bankroll and the documentation to prove that I’m a winning player but I also have the confidence in myself to know that I can hold my own with 90% of players I run into in the 1/2 - 2/5 No-Limit Hold’em range. Which makes it incredibly ironic that my biggest score so far while in Vegas came during a fluke at the roulette wheel. Basically, as I was leaving the Excalibur poker room in a huff I suddenly had an urge to put $10 down on 0 and 00 and wouldn’t you know it, the ball ended up cradling itself into 0 slot. $350 just like that!!! Even crazier is that I played 0 and 00 again for $10 and the ball landed on black 28, one away from the 0. And so without playing one hand of poker I left Excalibur up $320.

     10:00pm - 2:00am Mandalay Bay Casino

     So maybe that random piece of good luck at the Excalibur was all I needed to get the cards flowing for me again? Not so quite. For four hours I sat at the table and nothing really happened. I watch a douche from LA go from $600 to nothing. I watched a guy play 3 hands, once with AA, one with KK, and one with JJ and leave the table with over $700. And I sat and I sat as I looke at 63os and 83os over and over again. Mandalay Bay is a nice poker room eventhough they do have some crazy house rules but overall it’s not bad. However, another losing session and -$92 out of my bankroll.

     2:30am - 4:30am The Luxor Casino

     Frustrated and discouraged I should have just went to my room at The Luxor and gone to bed. But my stubborned dumb ass decided to buy-in one last time for the day and unwiesly I only bought in for $150. My rationale at that late hour was that since I had been running bad all day, if I lost now it would only be for $150. OK, this is perhaps the worst way ever to approach a poker session. And now as I write this I’m laughing at myself with no surprise as I eventually ended up losing all of my $150. Yes, I had a big hand where I had the nut flush draw, a straight draw and two over-cards, but the lesson is is that if you go in expecting to lose, then you’re only inviting the forces of losing to wreck havoc on your bankroll. So, I finished my last session down -$150. And that adds up to -$593 in poker losses for the day.

And for those keeping track at home, I’m down a total of -$1025 for the trip so far and I’ve got 3 days to win it back.

                                                                                                                    The Luxor - Las Vegas, NV

     So here I am back in Sin City for another shot at poker glory. Unlike in ‘08 I’ve upgrade my accommodations (a little). I’m staying at The Luxor this year which is basically the casino that symbolizes everything that old school Vegas dudes hate. And the truth is is that the place does feel more like a section of EPCOT than a place for gambling, but then again this is what’s so great about Vegas and that anything goes. And who am I not to give this tourist trap designed as a casino a chance?

     Seriously how do you screw up a Cobb salad? Ok, so I didn’t get off to the best start with my stay at The Luxor. I mean c’mon look at this fucking disgrace of a Cobb salad! Since when is a Cobb salad something where you just throw whole pieces of bacon, chicken, egg, lettuce and avocado on a plate and call it a salad? I guess I usually wouldn’t be that pissed about this but this room service delight came to me with a Pepsi and a Sierra Mist for the price of $30, so fuck them! I’m going to criticize this so called salad that one of Jerry’s kids could do better with.

     Next, the fucking iron in the room didn’t work! I know I’m being totally West Coast by having to iron a shirt before going to play poker but hey this is Las Vegas and I don’t want to come off like some floozy. But anyways the iron didn’t work and I had to have house keeping bring me up a new one. At this point The Gold Coast from ‘08 isn’t looking too bad. And also at this point I’ve notice I’ve gone this whole blog about the 2009 World Series of Poker without evening talking about poker. So that’s leave Egypt for the moment.

     After catching a cab from The Luxor to The Rio it only took me about 30 minutes or so before I was at a table with 9 other people for a $175 Sit-and-Go Tournament for the WSOP Event #34. The basic notion of these tournaments is that if you beat out the other 9 people at your table then you’re only paying $175 to get into a $1500 WSOP event. The structure of these tournaments are always pretty fast and you need to catch cards to survive so I was actually pretty amazed that I made it down to the last 3 players while basically never having a real hand. However, I was the short stack and when it came time to push my AJ was no good against my opponent’s K5, where he actually ended up making a spade flush.

                                                                                                                    The 2009 World Series of Poker

     I slowly watched any dreams of poker stardom fade away as I took a cab back to The Luxor, where I hit a few bars that were as dead as Ronald Reagan. Now I know I’m bad mouthing The Luxor something fierce here but to tell you the truth the layout of the place isn’t that bad. However, it just seems that it can’t compete with the other big hitters in town. And eventhough I usually never play poker drunk, I did decide to buy into a $1-2 NL Hold’em game at The Luxor’s poker room.

     Now the fact that I had start drinking heavily after getting bounced from my WSOP Sit-N-Go failure had nothing to do with this session at The Luxor, where it seemed flopping two pair didn’t mean shit. Here are some hands for you:

I hold A2 - Flop comes A 2 8 - Turn 8 - end up folding on turn because I know now my two pair is no good now, which is confirmed when the villian shows AJ.

I hold A3 in the big blind - Flop comes A 3 Q - and of course I run up against a guy who limps from late position with AQ.

So before I knew it after two hours I’m down $257 and I’m thinking it’s time to call it a night. And while I’m walking towards the elevator to head to my room I see a 24-hour convenience store that I decide to pop into and to my delight I see that they sell 22 oz cans of Icehouse beer so I grab two of them and call it a night. Finally a +EV situation!

Resident Evil 5
Published By: Capcom
Developed By: Capcom
Genre: Third-Person Action

     “Resident Evil 5″ will be one of the most entertaining experiences you’ll have all year if not you’re whole life, and I mean this compare to any movie, sporting event or donkey show you see this year. The “RE” series continues to thrive with amazing graphics and sound and an engaging story that most action games never fully establish. To say the least this game was the best horror/action experience I’ve had since…well…”Resident Evil 4″.

The dangers of not flossing.

     But unlike “RE 4″ you don’t have to go at it alone this time through and this is what makes “RE 5″ really shine. The Co-Op campaign is where its at with this game. It’s one thing for you to be shitting your pants as infected villagers begin to close in on you but it’s even cooler to hear your friend scream “What the fuck is that?” over X-Box Live when some kind of insane creature makes an appearance. And once the campaign is done there are plenty of action packed Mercenary missions that you and your friend can shoot your way through. However, there are two main characters and one of them is a hot chick named Sheva, so prepared yourself for some awkwardness as you hear your friend’s voice while you check out his character’s ass and rack. Just waring you.

“I’ve got something I could put in you to make you feel better.”

     Now whenever anyone talks about a ”Resident Evil” game the topic of controls always comes up and my replay to those gamers that feel that the contorls of “Resident Evil 5″ are lame is “sack up pussy boys!” No, you can’t strafe, jump and shoot you’re way through the boards. This isn’t “Halo”. And thank God its not set-up that way because the whole notion of having to stop-to-shoot is to create suspense and “RE 5″ creates this ten fold. This whole bitching about RE 5’s controls makes me think if these same losers would complain about not being able to drive a Lamborghini because they don’t know how to drive stick? 

     In conclusion, ”Resident Evil 5″ has taken everything you loved about “Resident Evil 4″ and made it better. This is without question the frontrunner so far for 2009’s Game of the Year and has earned a #16 spot on my All-Time Video Game List, because seriously does shotgunning someone in the face ever get old?      
         
5 Green Herbs Out Of 5    

Heineken
Pale Lager, The Netherlands

      What can I say about Heineken beer? Cool label and logo, check! Cool bottle, check! A premium quality import, check! But wait….is this beer really as good as everyone says it is? I remember as a young lad in my late teens and early twenties when I thought holding and drinking a Heineken was some kind of status symbol among my peers, as if the green bottle was some kind of uppity accessory that successful and cool people should brandish. But what about the taste? Hey back then taste didn’t matter as long as you looked good, right?

      Well I’m in my thirties now and I don’t give a fuck about looking good only feeling good. And while I’m not going to say Heineken tastes horrible, I’m done with the whole “premium quality import” shit. The bitter aftertaste has always bothered me and although there is a crispness to the beer there is also a certain tang I’ve never grown accostumed to. So all those high-fiving douchebags in the high end bars asking for a “Heini” can go screw! 

Can you find the Heineken is this picture?

For more on beer and other things that make life great click WellHungOver.net

      South Park’s number one school teacher Mr. Garrison joins the group.

The Bloodhound Gang

     My guess is that it had been about 3 years since I last saw these perverts before seeing them once again in West Chester, PA on February 14th at The Note. And just like 3 years ago “The Gang” sounded like they hadn’t missed a beat. How do they stay so fresh and solid? Easy there’s a place called Europe where they spend most of their days now. 
    
     But as for this show on this night back in The States, I’d say they played a nice mixture of their old and new stuff. The venue for the show, The Note, is a really cool place to see a show. A perfect small atmosphere that keeps you close to the action (like Evil Jared puking into his beer and then drinking it) no matter where you’re standing. The crowd was a lot younger and tamer then most Bloodhound Gang shows I had been to in the past, but I didn’t mind it that much because after one or two HopDevils the last thing I needed was a mosh pit throwing me around.

Evil Jared Hasselhoff warping your view on reality.

      So the question is “When should I expect to see The Bloodhound Gang?” Maybe when they release another album? I probably shouldn’t hold my breath then, because even as awesome as they are, these guys have been known to have the same motivation to make new music as Artie Lange has to quit eating donuts. But at any case, Bloodhound Gang, let me take this moment to thank you for all the awesome music you have made so far and to thank you even farther for maintaining your level of quality live performances. Saturday night was a blast…Sunday morning I felt like I had an ice pick in my brain…this is what seeing The Bloodhound Gang means to me.

Starship Troopers (1997)

Directed by: Paul Verhoeven

Rated: R

Runtime: 129 min

     “Starship Troopers” to me is one of the best science fiction movies of all-time. It gives you everything you want; great action, nudity, cool monsters and Michael Ironside.

     I learned last year that there was actually a trilogy to this movie so I went and watch the other two “ST” movies and here’s what I’ve got to report.

Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation (2004)

Directed by: Phil Tippett

Rated: R

Runtime: 88 min

     Now this sequel was made 7 years later and with 5% of the budget from the original but that still doesn’t excuse this embarrassment of a motion picture. The beginning of the movie is absolutely laughable due to how poor it is with totally lame sets and VFX that look like they were made by a suburban teenager on his Mac. The feel and atmosphere of the original “Starship Troopers” is thrown in the trashcan for a storyline that feels like a crappy horror film. What’s even worst than some of the VFX are the horribly coordinated action/fight sequences.

     The one shining moment in this film is that Kelly Carlson/Pvt. Charlie Soda (the blonde above) does get completley nude but that’s really the only positive thing I have to say about “ST2″.

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)

Directed by: Edward Neumeier

Rated: R

Runtime: 105 min

     Now here is the real sequel to “Starship Troopers (1997)”! Directed by Edward Neumeier, who was the screenwriter for the original, the universe and world of the roughnecks truly lives on in this film. Hell, even Casper Van Dien is back as Johnny Rico. Yes, the style, the action, the nudity and everything that made you love the first one is back, and guess what this movie didn’t have a huge budget either, but yet somehow Neumeier found a way to make it work.

     If you loved the first one then you’ll really dig this; the Federal Network propaganda ads, awesome bugs with great action sequences and there’s even a new superweapon that bears the same name as the subtitle of the film. “Starship Troopers 3″ was my surprise film of 2008 and I’m anxious to think what the Starship Troopers Universe could be like with another film and maybe this one could get back to the $100 million budget of the first one. Imagine the possibilites!

                                                                                                                           Niko Bellic, my friend from Liberty City.

The following is a letter I received from a friend of mine named Niko Bellic. He’s one of those Russian guys who always seems to have money. Hell, he’s only in his 30’s and he’s already retired. He writes me once and awhile to let me know what he’s been up to.

Dear JJ,

     Retired living is going good. I spend most of my time trying to stay busy so I don’t dwell on the past. Lately, I’ve been going around Liberty City shooting pigeons. I see at as a way to help clean up the city and also use up all this extra ammunition I have laying around. I actually killed my 200th pigeon or flying rat as what I like to call them the other night so I called up my friend Little Jacob to go celebrate.

                                                                                                                                 Niko’s friend Little Jacob

     I picked Jacob at 10:00pm in my all black Infernus, my favorite car in all the world. Jacob as always was glowing like Chernobyl and we headed over to The Triangle Club for some good dancing of the lap. Jacob babbled the whole ride over but thankfully for the Infernus the ride from Algonquin to Bohan didn’t take long. I enjoyed many lap dance and even a threesome in the backroom for only $250…I love this country!! Meanwhile, Jacob spent the whole time smoking and he could barely walk out to the car when we left at 7:44am.

     We got breakfast at Burger Shot and I dropped Jacob off. I headed home and slept in until 6:00pm. Just another beautiful day as a retiree in LC. - NB